This space for rant

02:19 pm - i moved

i've been gone for a very long time, i know. i was living in nepal since october and moved my journal to travelblog so that i could post lots of pics.

http://www.mytb.org/Michelle-K

but i didn't tell anyone, really. so if you want to catch up on the last year, there it is. enjoy!

02:37 pm - the european adventure begins

kt and i arrived in paris via dublin early this morning. we took a taxi to the hotel and were amazed by the size of the city...it took us nearly half an hour to get to the other side where our hotel was located! i love the architecture--an old, sort of classy style, with lots of windows in every building. the little side streets, many of them paved with cobble stones, make it feel quaint, although the city itself is enormous.

the hotel, called timhotel palais royal, was a tiny, no frills place, but it served its purpose. after dropping off our bags, we walked down the block to a little restaurant. it seems like we're in the business district, because there was a business lunch crowd there. the waiter was very nice and helped us to decipher the menu, since neither of us know any french. i had half a tasty chicken with potatoes.

after a 3 hour nap (since we had no sleep the night before), we took the metro to the eiffel tower, which was far bigger than i expected. we walked around taking photos, then crossed the street so i could get my first taste of french crepes at the stand on the side of the road. i got sugar and lemon, which was delicious (and all over my shirt)!

we wandered around that part of town for a while longer looking for a good place to grab dinner, until it started to downpour. so we slipped into the closest restaurant, a place called ribe. it had an african theme, with pictures of elephants and lions on the walls, and leopard print candles and such. but the food was definitely french. we both ordered a mixed seafood grill--tuna, salmon, squid, some white fish we couldn't identify, and 2 pieces of a little pink fish that had a very strong taste. we also shared a salad that we fell in love with--mixed greens, tomato, goat cheest baked on toast, and a mustard/wasabi-type dressing. this was the first of what we hoped would be many excellent meals!

we took the metro back to our neighborhood. even though we were tired, we decided to grab coffee/tea and dessert at a cafe nearby called chez papa. we sat outside, sipping our hot beverages, eating our pear tart and chocolate mousse, watching the clubbers walk by in their trendy outfits, talking about how fabulous it was that we were out and about in paris.

06:13 pm - road trip with my bro

I’m finally finding some time to journal about my road trip with my brother...close to 2 weeks after the fact. Hopefully I can remember the little details.

As a college graduation gift, I decided I wanted to treat my brother to a new and exciting experience. Originally we were going to take a 3-week cross country trip, but with my mother's sudden cancer diagnosis, my brother's need to study for the NCLEX, and my need to focus on my dissertation big time now that I’m leaving for Nepal in October, we decided to cut our trip down to a week.

So I booked flights to Tucson, AZ and our arizona/cali trip was put in place.

We flew into Tucson on a Friday night, picked up the rental car, and drove to k and j's house, our cousins who just got married last summer. We hung out with them for a little over pizza before heading to bed exhausted due to jet lag.

The next morning we went out for breakfast and then got a taste of downtown Tucson. It’s a small town, about the size of Fort Collins, Colorado, but not quite as artsy and happening, from what I could tell. Maybe that is because I was in Fort Collins during the semester, and the semester at univ. of Arizona had recently ended, so all of the students had cleared.

Arizona is beautiful! This was the first time I had seen a desert in the U.S., and it truly was amazing, particularly the cacti. But, that also means it's extremely hot (in the 90s minimum every day we were there), and people's back "yards" are patches of dirt and sand. I don't think I could live in Arizona, but it's definitely a nice place to visit. I’m thinking a spa weekend there would be especially relaxing….

Saturday night we went to our former aunt l.’s house (former because of divorce) for dinner. We also saw our other cousin from NYC, who needed a vacation and decided to come out the same weekend we were there to visit with us as well. l's house (and j's, her husband) is amazing. She is an artist, so the house is very artistic-looking (whatever that means). It’s a beautiful ranch (as are most houses out there in order to keep cool) with a nice pool in the back yard that we enjoyed after lunch.

Sunday morning we packed up the car with k. and j's camping equipment and headed for the Sedona area. We stayed in a little town called pinegrove at a campground in the middle of a forest of pinetrees. It took us a lot longer to get there than expected, however, because we ended up driving 10 miles on a dirt road. The road was not listed on the main map from AAA, but on the campground's website, with no indication that it was dirt. But, by the time we were on it, there was no way back. And with our rented Chevy Malibu, we had to go very slow so as not to destroy the thing. All part of the adventure, we kept telling ourselves!

We finally came to a lake (a dried up one, which seems to be the pattern with bodies of water in Arizona) where there was a rodeo or something of the sort being held. We stopped in the camp store for beer and ice, and I went into the bar next door to use the bathroom. It felt like I had walked into a saloon in a movie! Everyone turned to look at me in my cargo skirt and teva sandals, and they were all wearing their cowboy hats. I kept my head down, made my way to the bathroom, and then quickly made my way back outside. Bush country, for sure!

We finally found the camp site, which was a nice secluded place in a pine forest. It took us forever to figure out how to set up the tent, but when we finally did we made some turkey dogs and chicken sausages on our little camp stove. Later on we lit a fire and had the other essential camping treat—smores!

It was freakin’ cold that night! The temperature in the car the next morning said 40 degrees. And it was kind of odd, because with the exception of a couple of birds, there was absolutely no wildlife.

The next morning we packed up early and headed to the Grand Canyon. It was a beautiful drive through the desert (which my bro slept through most of). First thing we did was pull into a lot and walk over to the canyon. Gorgeous! I knew it would be big, but I was not prepared for its vastness. And it was so peaceful (aside from all of the tourists, which really were not many that morning).

The best part was the McDonald’s and gas station and Days Inn were a couple of miles outside of the national park, so well away from the natural beauty of the canyon. One thing that really disappointed me about Niagara Falls was the fact that you could see all of the hotels and restaurants from the falls. I hate when development ruins natural wonders…

We spent the next 2 or so hours hiking the south rim, taking pictures and just taking in the scene. After lunch we found Mather campground, which was the night’s lodging. Not nearly as nice as the last campground, it allowed for easy access to the canyon, which allowed us to go back at sunset. This time the canyon changed from a pinkish color to red to purple. I sat on a rock watching people and just thinking, which is what I love most about such amazing natural beauty…just sitting there and taking it in in peace.

Back at the campground that night, we roasted more dogs and made more smores before crawling into the tent to read a bit before bed. Since we were both up so early that morning and had driven, hiked, and set up camp, we were exhausted.

The next morning I woke up, walked to the bathroom, and on the way out noticed about 6 mule-deer feeding on the trees. They looked like deer you see on the east coast, but with mule-like ears. They let me get pretty close to get some great photos!

We packed up and headed out early again…this time an 8-hour drive to LA. We drove through more beautiful desert, passed the Hoover Dam, and stopped in Vegas for lunch at the New York New York Hotel. Two hours in Vegas was enough for me! Between the gambling, billboards of practically naked women advertising sex work, and the enormity of everything, it was a city of gluttony. And I know some people like to go there to shop or see shows or use the hotel spas, but I’d rather go somewhere with scenery for all of that, or at least some culture! The New York hotel was neat with all of its little models of the neighborhoods, and the Bellagio was extravagant, but I cannot see making Vegas a travel destination. That’s just not my scene.

We continued the drive to LA, where we spent a few nights with my father’s oldest friend from Yeshiva. My brother had never been to LA, and I was there for a while last summer, so I let him pick what we did. We went to the Getty Museum, Hollywood, Santa Monica Pier, 3^rd Street Promenade, and Malibu beach. I had never been to Malibu, so that was new for me. It was a nice beach, but certainly not the most beautiful I’ve ever been on. but the houses up on the hillsides were certainly nice real estate. I also took him to my favorite bar in Santa monica—harvelle’s—where we met an old high school friend who moved out there last year to try his luck as a musician/actor.

I don’t despise LA like so many NYC-lovers seem to do, but I can understand why people get frustrated. For me it’s not the traffic and pollution, but the lack of culture. If you’re not into lying on the beach or shopping, there doesn’t seem to be much going on. I suppose if I lived there I’d find a niche of people with interest in the arts (aside from film) and music and cross-cultural activities, but I didn’t see any evidence of that as a visitor. No theatre district (unless you count Hollywood), no cultural activities (unless you wonder into an ethnic neighborhood), no artsy culture. But, I think I could tolerate living there short-term.

From LA we spent a day driving back to Tucson. The temperature gauge in the car went from 75 degrees in LA to 105 in the middle of the desert to about 90 by the time we got back to Tucson.

We had a nice Shabbat dinner with our cousins, which none of us had done in a while. The next morning we went out for breakfast at a fun café called beyond bread, and then headed to the airport.

The trip was a lot of fun! And I think it was especially good for my brother. He had never been on an extended road trip, had never been out west, and this was only his second time on a plane. My point of my graduation gift was to give him something not only to celebrate his accomplishments, but also to expand his horizons a bit. I think I accomplished both.

I think I’d like my next road trip to be through the Deep South along the civil rights history trail. The south is one section of the country I haven’t seen much of yet (just Atlanta), and there’s so much history to follow through the towns. And perhaps a trip from San Francisco through Seattle and Portland would be cool. But I’m glad I got to see Arizona and the Grand Canyon, because that is probably the top place on my list of to-sees in the U.S. it really makes me appreciate the beauty we have in our own country.

And so the year of travel continues! Right now I sit in a coffee shop in D.C. waiting to hop on the metro to go back to the airport. In less than 2 weeks we leave for France and Spain for a work/play trip, for which I am super excited! San Francisco for a week in August, and then the big adventure begins—7 months in Nepal. I think the next year will be an incredible opportunity for me in so many ways—travel, learning, career development, and personal growth. How did I get so lucky??

07:50 am - my amazing mom

things are finally back to normal here, and it's only been this week that i've actually taken time to relax without frantically trying to grade papers, unpack boxes, or catch up on emails and paperwork. it's amazing how much your mood improves when stress is reduced!

my mother's experience with cancer and surgery went much smoother than i think we all expected. not that we expected bad things to happen, but we were so in shock by the whole thing that i think we all had this feeling in the pits of our stomachs that there would be more unpleasant surprises.

i drove to jersey the night before her surgery and stayed with the grandparents, then we drove to lancaster the next morning. i managed to see her right before she went into surgery, and i was on the verge of a nervous breakdown for some reason. i think it was the combination of her lying there in the hospital bed, my grandparents driving me nuts, the stress of the drive, and my own illness that forced me to burst into tears when i saw her.

but she was totally calm. my mother, who usually gets anxious about everything from whether she turned off the oven to how i will ever get to the airport if it snows, was very calm as she was about to go in for surgery to remove cancer from her colon.

her friend brenda said she could tell my mom was nervous and was just hiding it well to be strong for the rest of us.

the day went by quickly--she went in, came out, went into recovery, and with the exception of pain when she first woke up, was fine. stage 2 cancer, and they successfully removed all of it.

i spent the next several days mostly in the hospital, getting my mother whatever she needed, making sure she drank her fluids and breathed into her ventilator so that she would not get pnemonia. and when i left later that week, that was the first time i saw her tear up.

she's been home from the hospital for a week now, and all sorts of people have been helping to take care of her--my grandmother, her sister and sister-in-laws, my father and brother. on wednesday night i go down to fill in for a week. she's been taking walks, eating small meals, and taking fewer and fewer vicodin. next week her 24 staples from her 8-inch incision come out.

the next step is to decide on chemo. without it, the oncologist says she's got an 85% chance of the cancer not returning. with it, that chance goes up to 90 or 95%. i think she's leaning towards the 6 months of chemo, seeing it as an investment in her future. she's not even worried about the hair loss.

i knew my mother was a strong woman, but i don't think i've ever seen her rise to the occasion like this. when my father was in and out of the hospital 3 times in a year back in 2003, she had several breakdowns and you could clearly see the stress in her. but her approach to her own ailment has been one of acceptance and strength. she's been taking each day (often each hour) at a time, and she's really trying to keep herself within her limits. i think she's been an inspiration to the entire family in the way that she's been handling this.

the whole thing was very scary for me and my brother and dad, as mom has always been the one to take care of all of us, particularly my dad. but my brother and i still call and (when i was local) stay at their house so that mom can take care of and comfort us when sick. we still call when things feel particularly helpless in our lives so that we can hear mom tell us to suck it up and keep on. but seeing our mother there in the hospital bed turned the tables on us, and i think we were both very uneasy about the situation.

one really amazing thing happened was when she was in recovery. my brother was standing there talking shop with the nurse, and brenda overheard him tell her that his mother is an amazing woman. he said, "i don't even think the woman i marry will ever be able to compare to my mom."

he's right. for all the quarrels and differences of opinion my mom and i have had, i've always thought of her as my hero, even more so this year. she has handled this situation with grace and strength.

i can't wait to call her tomorrow to wish her a happy mother's day

11:24 pm - when life knocks the wind out of you

so i feel like i'm back...mostly. the past 2 weeks have been a nightmare in my life. in a lot of people's lives, given yesterday's events at vtech. but i am going to take the time to write a self-indulgent blog with the hope that i continue to feel better.

it all began with my usual spring flare-up...i had severe stomach cramps, wasn't eating, wasn't moving for close to a week until the doctor put me back on prednisone. in between stomach cramps i tried to work and teach and write and pack up my old apartment. luckily, KT was around to nurse me back to health and pick up the slack--bringing me gatorade and chicken broth and a heating pad as needed. psychologically, i was dealing with (and still am) the decision on what seem to be the only options left to control this disease--remicade infusions or surgery, both of which have serious negative aspects.

and then the real shit hit the fan. thursday morning my mother went in for her first of what was to be routine, every 5 year colonoscopies. my father called me from the waiting room and we had a long conversation about dealing with chronic illness, and trying to think positively about how things could always be worse. given his own chronic condition, his insight made me feel better.

an hour later, he called to tell me mom had colon cancer. a 4cm growth right there in her colon.

and that's when my life seemed to knock the wind out of me, not to mention my mother, my father, my brother, and everyone else who adores my mom.

the past few days have been a rollercoaster of emotion as we all struggle to deal with the reality of cancer in our immediate family. while it seems like it will be totally treatable with surgery, no one thought this time last week that we would be planning a week-long hospital stay and a 6 week recovery for mom, who has been the pillar of strength in our own family. my mom, who i still call when i am feeling ill or having an especially bad day.

i think the worst part is being up here in new england when all i want is to be back in pa with my parents and brother. i feel like i have been on my phone constantly, trying to get the up-to-the-minute report as soon as they all have it. but you can only "be there" so much from a distance.

this news did not facilitate my own improvement in health. although the meds are definitely improving the situation, mornings remain awful.

and then to add just one more life stressor, i moved over the weekend. KT helped me back up the apartment on saturday while i filled boxes in between stomach cramps. on sunday, 8 of my wonderful friends came over and moved me completely out of the old place and into the new place. they've also been covering my classes and doing whatever they can to help me get thru this landslide of stress. they have no idea how much i appreciate and love them for it.

the move was successful, my mother's CAT scan looked good, and they scheduled her for surgery. but last night i finally cracked. the worry over my mom, the chaos of the apartment, the to-do list for work, the stomach cramps, and the mood swings thanks to prednisone all came together to make me snap at KT. not good for our second night together as official roomies. luckily he was able to take a step back and recognize that my life is in shambles right now and cut me some slack.

i cried for a good 45 minutes while he went to pick up dinner. it's funny how i handle such things...so strong for the first few days, and then it seems to just overwhelm me to the point where the floodgates open and i just need to let it out. i was truly a blubbering mess. the cats weren't sure what the hell was going on or why i was making such noises.

today the stomach pains were the best they've been in over a week. maybe the breakdown was exactly what i needed.

all i can say is, fuck! how much can one person take? why does it seem like the strongest people get the heaviest dose? not just me, but my mother. why do bad things happen to good people?

i guess the only thing to do is keep on keeping on, and try to get my life back in order. i put in a full day's work today, and while distracted this morning, it felt good to be back in my routine again. i mean, what else can you do in times like these? allow yourself to crumble, pick the pieces up, and continue on. i mean, shit, it can only get better from here, right? D says after this i'm due for lots of happy times--graduations, weddings, babies, travel. luckily my summer is packed with such things.

in the meantime, please pray, send good thoughts, conduct a ritual or whatever you do for my mother's successful surgery and speedy recovery.

and if you find friends or a partner like mine, never let them go. my social support has been all i have over the past week, and the only thing that has held me together.

08:54 pm - another enlightening conversation with my former-hippy father

i had a conversation today (via instant messenger) with my dad about how my generation is full of, as he calls them, "capitalist fascist bastards." he thinks young people are too concerned with their salaries, their stock options, and their promotions, and he thinks this is part of the reason why our country is in a deep pile of shit.

i have to say, i totally agree.

i often walk across uconn's campus wondering why no one is ever protesting anything, especially when there's so much to be angry about right now. and i get frustrated with my students who glaze over when we talk about abstinence only programs and the global gag rule and the 4 year anniversary of the circus in iraq.

i also notice that so many people my age are so concerned with getting the highest power, highest status, highest paying job that they can, but yet they talk about politics with only a fraction of the enthusiasm. they talk more about their stock rates than sudan, their fendi bags than the rape scene dolce and gabbana are using to sell clothes, and their hot new car rather than what they can do save the environment.

aargh!!!

and when did i stop being angry? when did i stop using the phrase "this is bullshit!" on a regular basis? am i caving to the complacent, apathetic, capitalist, materialistic ideals of my generation??! when did i trail off on my angry blog rants??

no, i'm not becoming one of the fascists my father mention, but i think maybe i just shifted. i've learned all about this stuff--all of these world problems, and now i'm in the position to teach about it. last week i was extremely upset that students were talking during my lecture on sex trafficking, and that 3 guys walked out of a class i was subbing for a friend when i showed a movie about AIDS. i suppose if i were dead inside those incidents wouldn't have totally ruined my day.

my anger is still there, but i think i've become so caught up in the quest for grant money and academic jobs and publications that my flame has quieted just a bit.

thanks to my father for adding fuel.

maybe this is really my chance to get students to not be so apathetic about the world by showing them my own passion. maybe i need to use a few more "bullshits" and not be afraid to criticize the administration and gov't policies for fear that some student will be offended. maybe that's what they need! to hear that it's good to be mad, it's good to be pissed off, and it's good to give a shit about something besides their designer jeans.

afterall, as my father said, it will be my job to pass on the words of the hippies that came before me to the generations beyond me.

pass the pipe. 

08:59 pm - thoughts on dating life...and the transition out of it

one of my good friends is for the first time getting a sense of the real dating world. after coming out of a long term relationship that began early in college, she is now having to deal with the elation and frustration of the dating scene. and all i can say is, thank god i'm on break from that! hopefully for a long time....

hearing her stories of dealing with what i like to call the "effort only up to the point of getting laid" type of guy have made me grateful to (finally!) be in a relationship where i know whether i'm coming or going and that my investment is being reciprocated. i'm also glad to finally be at a place in my life when i feel confident enough in myself to be completely vulnerable in a relationship.

her stories bring back memories of all the guys i've dated over the past 3-4 years--the good times when you are first infatuated with each other, all the way down to the days when you wonder if this so-called "boyfriend" even exists, because he's too busy, too stressed, too broke, too tortured, too undecided, too full of excuses to be worth your time anymore.

not that i regret any of my dating experiences over the past years. in fact, i am glad to have had all of them--orgasms, tears and all--because they gave me a tough skin, a realistic outlook, and an appreciation for a good thing when it finally comes along.

and so now here i am giving her advice on how to handle the rollercoaster of emotions, when the past few years she has been giving me advice on what makes a relationship a good one. roles have definitely reversed.

and now i'm here in my apartment, cleaning out drawers and closets as i gather my shit and my thoughts before moving in with a man i think is finally worthy of my undivided attention. some days i am super excited to play a modern version of house with him. other days i am worried about how we will work together sharing living space. never before have i shared an apartment with someone, let alone my bedroom. welcome to a whole other level of vulnerability.

and in the meantime, out come the others proclaiming last minute that they messed up, trying to nudge their way in before it's too late and they lose me to this mysterious "other man" who has kept me from boredom for the past 8 months. among other positive qualities, of course.

bhhhpppt! too little too late, suckas! get it while you can or you get none!

the countdown has begun. 8 weeks until the move-in date. no anxiety attacks yet. only this strange sort of comfortable feeling as he fell asleep laying on my stomach early this afternoon as we were watching the news. i'll take that as a good sign. but i'm sure this control freak, anxiety-ridden, egalitarian-demanding roomie will see ebbs and flows in her own emotional rollercoaster in what i like to call round 2: roommate compatibility.

11:47 am - remembering sri lanka

i received this beautiful email from a friend i made during my first trip to nepal. he's a journalist originally from bangladesh that travels to countries in conflict to train their local media to report the news without bias. right now he is in sri lanka for meetings. i thought this email was beautiful and wanted to share, because it seems like we forget such tragedies so quickly.

10:46 am - heartbreaker

i'm teaching the psychology of women this semester for the first time and am absolutely loving it! but i didn't realize (probably naively) that my class would cause so much controversy.

i have my students do a social activism project, in which they must do a minimum of 10 hours of volunteer/activism work on a cause related to women and girls. one of my students proposed an anti-abortion project in which she was planning to hand out little plastic babies with poems that basically say, "mommy, don't kill me." since research shows women do not have long term psychological effects from abortion procedures, i could not let her do it because it did not match class content. not to mention that the course is taught from a feminist perspective, which is built on the philosophy of choice. i handed back her proposal yesterday...we'll see what the fallout is.

and during the second week of class, i had a student confide in me about an unreported rape that traumatized her so much she contemplated suicide. aside from her closest friends, i was the first person she told.

but perhaps what has struck me the most about this class so far is the number of students who are telling me that they are now going through rough times with their boyfriends. the female students learn things that shock them in class (like the psychological effects of porn, the amount of misogyny in advertising, the gender bias in SAT testing), go home with excitement to tell their boyfriends all of this information they never knew about, and are getting criticized for thinking like a feminist.

last night one of my students told me that her and her boyfriend had a big fight over feminist pornography because she is writing her first paper on it. she told him she is an "aspiring feminist" (how cute is that??) and wanted to learn more about female-friendly porn. he told her that feminists are just "birkenstock wearing, hairy bitches."

last week another student told me her boyfriend said she's becoming too Americanized (she's Chinese) because she's buying into all of the stuff we discuss in class, and that he doesn't like her wearing certain clothes because she looks too sexy.

so here i am, filling in the gaps in their education, trying to get them passionate about issues related to women, and little did i realize that i'm indirectly breaking hearts in the process. now they are coming to me, wondering why their boyfriends are getting so offended and being so mean  when they want to share what they've been learning in class.

i bite my tongue every time, and simply say, "i'm not going to tell you what to do, but you have to decide for yourself how much your beliefs mean to you and what kind of daily impact those beliefs will have on your relationship." i then tell them how many relationships of my own have ended for related reasons, and how once you find a man who not only respects your opinions but believes in feminist values himself, it is wonderful.

another student said last night she was going back to her dorm to hug her boyfriend because she feels so lucky to have a guy who does respect her opinions.

i think things are only going to get worse this semester. as these girls start to realize all of the shit women are forced to deal with simply because they have vaginas, they will become more and more angry. and even though this means a few of them may come out the other side without a boyfriend, or a relationship that is hanging by a thread, i guess the most i can hope for is that they continue to stand up for what they believe in and continue to develop their identities in ways that are consistent with their beliefs.

and while all of these issues and student woes have been emotionally draining on me, i now understand why so many people love to teach. it is incredibly rewarding to watch students develop their own opinions and to take the knowledge you give them to make their own and the lives of others better. i'm starting to see that teaching really is a form of activism.

05:44 pm - bullshit! bullshit! bullshit!

and so another semester begins, and with that incidents with annoying students. this semester i am teaching the psychology of women, which i am super excited about since that is my area of expertise. last night i thought i had an excellent class--we talked about violence against women, watched a very popular video about depictions of women in advertising, and afterwards i had a couple of students come up to share more comments with me, including one student who wanted to tell me about the time she was raped at a party. how cool, i thought to myself, that my students are getting excited about this class and are comfortable enough with me to reveal such personal information.

but then i get home, open my computer, and find this in my inbox:

Hello Michelle,

I am a student in one of you classes and I just wanted to tell you that I find it a little disturbing when you use inappropriate language in the class. I understand that a lot of students find it OK to speak like that but not everyone finds that lanuage OK. I think that there is a level of respect that students should have for the teacher. It should be the same for teacher when it comes to students. Thank you.

Anonymous

steam immediately poured out of my nostrils. WTF??! as far as i can remember, the only thing i said last night was "bullshit" in the context of, "Many women do not report sexual assaults because they do not want to deal with the bullshit of the legal system."

i'm not sure who the student is, but i'm pretty sure it's a religious woman who just added my class. who else would get so worked up over such a petty thing?

the more i thought about the whole thing, the angrier i became. is this a gender thing? is someone trying to tell me that it's not appropriate for a woman to swear? or perhaps a power/status thing, in that because i only have a master's degree and am not a professor they feel they have the right to criticize me? and whatever happened to academic freedom??

i can't wait until tomorrow's class when we discuss an essay titled, "Vindication on the Rights of Cunt." heh heh.

so after getting the advice of several friends and colleagues, i carefully crafted a response:

Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear that my language made you uncomfortable in class. Can you tell me what it was I said specifically that made you uncomfortable? I will say, however, that this is a college course, which comes with a certain level of academic freedom. I conduct my class in a PG-13 sort of way, and in particular for this course, there will be a great deal of material that not only requires speaking bluntly, but that might make some students uncomfortable, such as when we talk about sexuality, violence, or pornography. If you feel that discussion of this material is beyond your comfort level, I suggest you consider dropping the class, as these topics cannot be censored if we are to have an open discussion about them.

I hope that together we can make the classroom an environment that is comfortable for all of us.

Michelle

Here's hoping she just drops the class. Although, it will be fun to watch her face when i show a video later on about older women who are still hot and horny.